The moment you announce to your friends that you're getting a divorce, everyone will start giving you advice. "Get a good lawyer." "See a counselor." You'll eventually feel like you hear the same advice again and again, which can be very frustrating. You want advice, but new and fresh advice! Well, here are six pieces of advice you may not have heard yet.
1. Don't share a lawyer.
You may think you will save money by sharing an attorney with your spouse, but even if the two of you are still on good terms, this is not ideal. You want an attorney who represents only your interests, and someone who is also representing your spouse cannot possibly do that, no matter how hard they try.
2. Be honest with your lawyer.
Some people try to hide aspects of their divorce from their attorneys, but this can get you in trouble in the long run, especially if your spouse's attorney knows something that you do not know. Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to your lawyer. Only when they know the truth can they adequately represent you.
3. Put your kids first.
Always make your decisions based on what is best for your kids. Not only will this be better for your kids, but it will also redirect your focus. Thinking about your kids will help get you out of your head and stop focusing on your own misery.
4. Talk to your friends.
It can be tough to admit that you are struggling with your divorce. You may tell yourself that this is what you want—so it should make you happy. However, you will be upset, and that is okay. Talking to your friends about your emotions, openly and honestly, will make things easier. Good friends will listen and help you. You'll also quickly find out which friends are not really there for you.
5. Schedule time for yourself.
Every week, set aside at least an hour for self-care. During this hour, you can do your nails, get a facial, get a massage, or pursue a passion you love. What is important is that you continue to take time for yourself, and keep your head on straight.
6. Don't rush.
Yes, the faster you get divorced, the lower your fees will be. But things take time to come together and get figured out. Don't try to push the process forward too quickly. Accept that your divorce will take time, but also that it will be over eventually. This is temporary.
For more information, talk to companies like Seiler & Parker PC.